Last night I re-watched Doctor Thorne on Amazon Prime and it was just as head-scratchingly bad as the first time I saw it. This is a four-part adaptation of Anthony Trollope's book of the same name, adapted by Downton Abbey creator Julian Fellows.
Why it is bad:
1. The main romance is between two people who are already in love
A good period movie does not need to have a love story, but if it is going to be a central part of the story, the "in love since childhood" trope is the most booooooooring of all possibilities. We don't get to see them meet, exchange any exciting banter, or thrillingly touch hands while dancing/helping into a carriage/handing a teacup
[SIDE NOTE: this pandemic may just revive the idea that hand to hand contact is forbidden yet thrilling]
Instead when we see them together for the first time on screen we get swelling music that tells us they are IN LOVE and then they just goofily grin at each other.
Not a scene from Dr. Thorne
[SIDE NOTE: this pandemic may just revive the idea that hand to hand contact is forbidden yet thrilling]
More hand porn from North & South
Instead when we see them together for the first time on screen we get swelling music that tells us they are IN LOVE and then they just goofily grin at each other.
Nothing new or exciting happens between them. The only conflict is that he is rich and she is poor and his family is against it. Now, an "in love but can't be together" story could be salvaged by some tortured glances but even then, nada. The two leads are both just bland and sweet. So they either smile at each other or look sad. But not dramatic sad. Sort of "well gosh this sure is a pickle" sad.
2. The resolution of the plot is clear from the first episode
Ok, so actually the "rich" guy's family is terribly in debt and so he must marry a wealthy woman in order save the family. Also, his romantic interest is from a sketchy, most likely illegitimate background. So here comes a spoiler, but like I said, you find this out very early on: There is this other super rich guy in town who is about to die. When he does his son will inherit everything. BUT if his son dies the money will go to his sister's "oldest child" and SHOCKINGLY that turns out to be the same young woman who thinks she can't marry the man she loves because she is poor.
All that needs to happen for everything to work out is that the rich guy's son needs to die young. And when we meet the son, he is the absolute worst. He doesn't care that his father is dead, is straight-up cruel to his mother, is skeevy toward women, and has a serious drinking problem.
Oh yeah, this guy is toast
So somehow there are four episodes to get us to a resolution that plays out exactly as you would expect.
3. Julian Fellows thinks he is Alistair Cooke / Russell Baker and he is NOT
Greetings idiot Americans
If you watch this on Amazon there are these unbearable fireside chats where Julian Fellows condescendingly explains what is going on in this very un-complex story.
4. Flower crowns, bad hair, and skirt scrunching
The gals over at Frock Flicks have an excellent post on some very strange costuming quirks of this adaptation:
Also more about why skirt-hiking is obnoxious and unnecessary
But despite all that, I re-watched it anyway!!
Here is why:
1. Despite all the skirt schrunching, the costumes are pretty
1. Despite all the skirt schrunching, the costumes are pretty
Ballgown pastels
Mean ladies = fab dresses
Love the blues
2. Alison Brie plays the only character that isn't a familiar 19th-century trope
She is an over-30 wealthy American who enjoys watching men embarrass themselves by trying to marry her.
She is an over-30 wealthy American who enjoys watching men embarrass themselves by trying to marry her.
#sorrynotsorry
3. I find even bad period movies (and shows) to be strangely comforting
And here is the meat of it: I like seeing pretty costumes walking around on screen. My absolute favorites combine good visuals with compelling stories, but even when the story misses the mark, the good costumes can make it worthwhile. I put on Doctor Thorne to chill out and also half-watch while doing a couple other things. One of the things that was bad about Doctor Thorne (virtually no drama) was also good. It was safe and gentle and easy to digest.
So if you want something to watch that will be pretty, take very little mental energy, and make you angry about something as unimportant as skirt scrunching, I highly recommend Doctor Thorne.
And here is the meat of it: I like seeing pretty costumes walking around on screen. My absolute favorites combine good visuals with compelling stories, but even when the story misses the mark, the good costumes can make it worthwhile. I put on Doctor Thorne to chill out and also half-watch while doing a couple other things. One of the things that was bad about Doctor Thorne (virtually no drama) was also good. It was safe and gentle and easy to digest.
So if you want something to watch that will be pretty, take very little mental energy, and make you angry about something as unimportant as skirt scrunching, I highly recommend Doctor Thorne.
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