In the Shadow of the Dome

This weekend I took a trip to Tacoma with my mom, and was perhaps more excited than a Seattleite is allowed to be about visiting Tacoma. (For my out-of-state readers, Tacoma is a large city about an hour drive south of Seattle. The two cities got in a vicious fight in the 19th century regarding a transcontinental railroad terminus and we've been throwing shade at each other ever since).

My mom's choir had a concert on Saturday and a late rehearsal the night before, so a bunch of choir members decided to stay the night in between. I came along in order to hear the concert and hopefully visit a museum while we were there. And Tacoma really rolled out all its grandeur for this trip. We stayed in a hotel with a glorious view of the Tacoma Dome:

(what this photo doesn't capture is the grime on the window)

But I was still excited about what Tacoma had to offer because it is home to the Washington State History Museum, which happened to have a clothing exhibition on view! The show was called Pomp & Circumstance: The Clothing of Transformation and when I heard about it I thought the concept was brilliant. It was all about special occasion clothing, which is exactly what every history museum has coming out of its ears. So why not put your wedding dresses, christening gowns, uniforms, inaugural gowns, and weird ceremonial gear from fraternal organizations on display together and come up with a theme that encompasses it all? GENIUS.

WORK IT GOV GREGOIRE

The exhibit was a little smaller than I expected and it looked like it had been put together on a tight budget, but there was a lot of interesting and unexpected stuff. It was the perfect topic to showcase their collection and I was really impressed by the loans they got. Including...

IS THAT...

 JINKX!

Mannequin dressing nitpick though: I would have put this dress on a slim male mannequin. If you add foam boobs to existing mannequin boobs you get: 

AGGRESSIVE FLOATING TORPEDO BREASTS

After basking in all the clothes, it was time to check out their core Washington State history exhibit which I hadn't seen since the 8th grade. It was light on artifacts and heavy on sets and props. Not my cup of tea but I realize that school groups are a huge part of their audience, and sitting inside a fake covered wagon is way more engaging for a kid than a real wagon wheel behind glass. But where they really lost me was with the full-size plaster people. These things were like creepy mannequins taken to the NEXT LEVEL.

So many plaster ruffles...

That is one pissed-off frontier drag queen

So remember how I said that there is a bit of a rivalry between Seattle and Tacoma? Because obviously Seattle is better and Tacoma is just bitter about it? 

Well, since this was an exhibit about the history of Washington State they obviously had to at least mention Seattle. So how did they do it? 

Welcome to Seattle! Land of hopeless slums!

Yep, they put the spotlight on Seattle for the section on the Great Depression, illustrating the era with a reproduction "Hooverville" shack. When you went inside there were two plaster men talking about how everything was terrible, accompanied by an audio track of heavy rain falling on a tin roof. 

NICE TRY TACOMA.

When To Say No To Cross-Dressing

When we cleaned out the old storage location there were a bunch of odd mannequins from various stages of the museum's history. They ranged from homemade wood lumps, to life-size bendy stick-men, to mannequins from department stores. Trying to turn a new leaf and not just keep piles of old stuff "just in case," we decided to find new homes for things we weren't planning to use in the foreseeable future. For months now we've had three full-sized male mannequins hanging out in the conditioning room, waiting for that "new home." They added a nice creepy ambiance to the space. "Whoops! Can't set my supplies down there--that's where the disembodied arms are kept!" Finally, we listed them on a website for local historical societies. Free, but you have to come pick them up.

It wasn't long before we got an enthusiastic response from a small organization. Mannequins can be prohibitively expensive, so we felt warm and fuzzy about helping out another nonprofit. When they came to pick them up though, it seemed like they hadn't read the description carefully and were a little surprised that it was three male mannequins. But no matter. We cheerfully started loading them in the car.

When it was all done they turned to me and said, "So...these are male mannequins. But we have this wedding dress..."

...Do you think we can make that work?"

"Really? Even if we...you know...pad the chest a bit?"

No girl. No. That will not work. 

Now, I realize the irony of using a drag queen gif to say you can't put a woman's garment on a male mannequin. But here is the thing: the human body is a magical, malleable, thing. People come in all shapes and sizes. Bodies can be squished, tucked, and padded. Men can dress like women, women can dress like men, and we can all question the gender binary. But a hulky fiberglass man shaped object? You might as well be dressing a tree trunk. 

Now, I could be wrong, and the dress is large enough to fit over a padded log. But I doubt it. It is probably tiny and built for someone who spent their life in a girdle. Adding breasts is going to be the least of your problems. The difference between male and female bodies is so much more complicated than breasts.

Despite what Michelangelo might lead you to believe

The shoulders, chest, waist, and hips are all going to be the wrong shape and size. Oh, and did I mention the mannequins had non-removable heads? Square-jawed, thick necked, man heads? Yeah. 

To review:

Men wearing dresses in real life?

Some exhibition where you intentionally cross dress mannequins to make a point about gendered clothing?

Attempting to make a male, fiberglass mannequin fit a woman's wedding dress and hope no one will notice?

 

I Want All The Shoes

Sometimes I fantasize about buying clothing exclusively from Seattle-based stores and companies. (A book about my fantasies would probably not sell as well as Fifty Shades of Grey). It would be eccentric, and half the point would be letting everyone know so I would insufferably bring it up in conversation all the time, but I think it would be pretty awesome. I could go to Filson for outerwear, Eddie Bauer for basics, Nordstrom for dresses and shoes, and Tommy Bahama for...swim cover ups? Not to mention all the local boutiques and small companies headquartered here. I'd probably be out a lot of money, but it would be fabulous.

And now, I have yet another reason to go forward with the plan. It's called Hourglass Footwear:

Hourglass Footwear makes hand painted shoes in all kinds of fun patterns. This week I went to a fashion show at the Women's University Club featuring local brands and vintage pieces. It was basically an afternoon of all of Clara's favorite things.  Most of the looks were paired with shoes from Hourglass and I totally fell in love. You can read their own blog post about the event here.

And guess who was just sighted wearing a pair of Hourglass's shoes?

Quite the scandal, actually

Jinkx Monsoon, Seattle's own drag superstar who this week WON RuPaul's Drag Race (Portland may have three Project Runway winners but now that we have a RPDR winner I think we are even). At the (surprisingly dull) Drag Race finale, Jinkx debuted an outfit decorated with butterflies, complete with matching shoes. 

To recap:

1) Handmade in Seattle

2) Visually stunning 

3) Endorsed by celebrity drag queens

I just wrote your new advertising slogan Hourglass Footwear. You're welcome. 

The Great Dictator

This week I raised an army...

an army of ROLLING RACKS

and PADDED HANGERS

...by harnessing the raw power of VOLUNTEER LABOR!

MUA HA HA HA HA HA

Yes, apparently my plan for world domination involves supporting the shoulders of historic garments and then carting them around on wheels. 

Other news that might interest devoted readers:

-- I gained new respect this week for New Day Northwest-- the local morning cheesefest which MOHAI was featured on recently. Olivia and I have been watching the latest season of RuPaul's Drag Race and have fallen in love with Seattle-based queen Jinkx Monsoon. Apparently the same week I was helping haul the Sonics trophy to the studio, Jinkx made an appearance to promote her starring role in Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Cool stuff NDNW. I guess there is more to you than strange fashion advice and free country music CDs. 

-- My upcoming John Doyle Bishop event has been getting some actual (local) press. Read about it here and here. 

-- Last Sunday MOHAI had an Oscar party and I was asked to provide commentary during the red carpet pre-show. I teamed with my fantastic friend Curt to provide charming banter about the history of fashion at the Oscars. The insider sources who attended the event (my parents) said we did a good job, but more importantly we looked fabulous doing it. I wore a purple dress that I found at a church yard sale in New York, and Curt looked dapper in a suit with a tie that matched my dress. My greatest regret in life right now is that no one took a picture. 

Amazingly, I found a picture on the internet that was pretty close: 

Not sure who these people are, but they are doing a pretty good job of being nearly as stunning as Curt and I. 

This Week In Anxiety Dreams

So I had another work-related anxiety dream this week. I was doing a last minute check of this kimono that is going on exhibit and I saw something that looked like bug evidence...and then another thing that could be bug evidence...and then something that was definitely a dead bug...then something larva shaped that moved when I poked it...then an adult bug that was definitely moving...and O GOD THIS WHOLE THING IS CRAWLING WITH BUGS.

First off, I'd like to pause for a moment and bask in what a ridiculous museum-specific nightmare that is. Only someone who has weekly discussions about integrated pest management has crap like that show up in her subconscious.

But second, for all my talk about how stressful things are at the museum right now, I don't really feel riddled with anxiety on a constant basis. Not every day is stressful, and I'm pretty good at unwinding in the evening. My roommate and I spend most nights enjoying the trashiest, most mindless shows that Hulu and Netflix have to offer. When I woke up from the bug dream I was sort of like, "Really, brain? I give you RuPaul's Drag Race and Say Yes to the Dress to work with, and you create a pest-based nightmare instead of some mash-up where drag queens go shopping for wedding dresses?!"

Bachelorette Life

I feel like I don't have much to report from work this week. The main thing I've been doing is re-vacuuming things I vacuumed before. Some bug evidence was found on garments that were on display, and so as a precautionary measure we decided to deep freeze every textile-based object that was de-installed from exhibit (the freezing kills bugs without using chemicals). To be thorough, each object had to be vacuumed before and after freezing. The boxes just came back, so I've been having vacuuming deja vu.

As thrilling as that is, I turn now to my home life. Today I had a delightful, relaxing Saturday with my roommate. But now that I reflect back on it, I realize that it was sort of an amusing portrait of bachelorette life. My day included:

-Watching the Project Runway: All Stars finale

-Venting about how boring, predicable, and not-fun the show has become

-Deciding that the only thing that will make us feel better is one episode of Say Yes to the Dress

-And by "one" we mean two

-Just one more

-"I think something in our apartment smells bad"

-Launching into vigorous cleaning mode, including a complete clean-out and smell-check of all items in the fridge, bathroom and kitchen scrub-down, and a removal of all garbage, recycling, and compost.

-Deciding to reward selves with gummy candy in shape of penguins

-A journey outside with a vague list of errands

-More Say Yes to the Dress while eating cottage cheese

-"We need to find this bride a dress, SHE DOESN'T HAVE A KIDNEY"

-Dinner

-Deciding we've had enough SYTTD and the time has come for RuPaul's Drag Race

-Discussion of how to incorporate more drag queen sayings into our lives. Like this:

"Do I look fine? If I look fine I'll keep going"