Pictorial Recap Of My Trip To Kansas

Recently, I took a trip to Kansas to visit my cool cousin Laura who is a Mennonite pastor.

There were also cats there! I love cats. This cat was pretty into me:

Less into me: This turtle 

LESLIE KNOPE WAS RIGHT

We went to lots of museums! Our first stop was the Mennonite Heritage and Agricultural Museum in Goessel. There was lots of stuff to see there, including some interesting garments:

That piece turned out to have a grim but intriguing label:

Death Shroud

Made by Mrs. Elizabeth Schmidt for her husband Jacob, as was required by the Russian government for anyone boarding a ship

"Oh yeah! Immigrating to America is totally fun and easy! Hey though, we do have a strict BYO death shroud policy. You know, just in case. Enjoy the trip!"

-- The Russian Government 

There were also lots of things made out of wheat, like this:

And this:

"Cool! I mean, why NOT make a bell out of wheat?"

"Because it doesn't ring."

"To be fair though, the actual Liberty Bell doesn't ring either."

"That was a sick burn on the Liberty Bell."

I also saw one of the most effective "do not touch" signs I've ever seen, which was on a scary-looking piece of farming equipment:

If you really want people not to touch, add a splash of fake blood

We also went to the Eisenhower Presidential Museum, and had a pants-busting good time:

(I nominate this for the Museum Mannequin Fail Hall of Fame)

There was also cake?

THERE SHOULD NOT BE CAKE

Some Mamie Eisenhower fabulousness:

Also, I hope that their social media campaign encourages people to IKE US ON FACEBOOK because if not that is a missed opportunity. 

In between museum visits I enjoyed some delightful local food. I can verify that there ARE hipsters in Kansas and that--along with proper protocol of burgers with bacon jam and water in mason jars--they have come up with a new innovation of checks arriving in old timey library books: 

I also had a simple diner waffle that would make Leslie Knope feel right at home:

I introduced Laura to Miss Fisher and we watched it outside:

STILL SO GOOD

We went to a bookstore where I found out the new euphemism for Christian romance novels (historical and/or Amish) is "Gentle Reads"

And in a proud moment, I managed to take a selfie with some cows:

THE FULL KANSAS EXPERIENCE