People: Hey Clara, what's new with you?
Me: Not much. Same old stuff.
People: How is work?
Me: Great, museum is great.
People: So...really, nothing new?
Me: Not really.
People: You sure?
Me: Oh well I got married and gave birth to triplets.
People: THAT'S AMA-
Me: No. That didn't happen.
Me: Actually I did have one pretty life changing thing.
People: Tell me about it!
Me: I (sort of last minute) got a ticket to the Beyoncé concert at Centurylink and it was phenomenal. I still haven't recovered and not sure I ever will. Here, let me show you some photos on my phone:
People: Yes, those are probably the best pictures I have ever seen.
Me: Oh! Actually one more thing. I joined Instagram! The first picture I posted was of the Beyoncé concert.
Me: But I think, going forward, I want to showcase my collection of museum mannequin pictures.
People: Fantastic. That is a much neglected niche on the internet. How do I follow you?
Me: Search for clevaberg (or click the photo above)
People: Cool. Have you joined Tinder yet?
Me: We're done here.