Things My Doctor Said To Me

Last week I posted that I was sick. I took a few days off, started to feel better, went to work one day, started to feel worse, and ended the week so pathetically miserable that I wasn't sleeping and it hurt to swallow water. On Thursday my parents convinced me to go to the doctor. Here are some actual interactions I had with her, interspersed with Tina Fey gifs.

Doctor: Well, your glands are definitely swollen.
Me: It hurts to swallow.
Doctor: Are you able to eat?
Me: Sort of. For lunch I had some grits with cheddar cheese, and ice cream.
Doctor: [silence] At least you are creative.

Doctor: I think there is a good chance it is mono.
Me: Ugh terrible. Any tips on how to not give it to my roommate?
Doctor: Don't lick her.

Me: I guess it could be worse. My cousin, who I might have gotten mono from, was battling it the week of her wedding. So I just keep thinking "At least I'm not getting married."
Doctor: Well, you should be glad of that for several reasons.

(I'm going to go ahead an interpret that as a feminist lady doctor diss against the institution of marriage, not some burn on me as being tragically un-marriable)

I'm feeling a lot better btw.